okay.

so i've got this 

rivalry thing going

between me

&

gwyneth paltrow.

(yes, it's all in my mind.)

and i can't seem to get to the

bottom 

of why i don't

like her.

is it her feet?

oh come on -

don't you remember that 

house & garden nov/'07 cover?

they're finger feet for christ sake

(get it--see for yourself.)

or

 is it because although

she has no idea who 

i 

am

she keeps stealing my

ideas?

i know it's 

jealousy.

plain & simple.

she's 

beautiful 

(well, other than the feet)

&

an oscar winning actress

&

married to a rock star

&

a cook book author

(who probably makes delicious

home-cooked meals for her kids)

&

a successful blogger

&

is 

best friends 

with madonna and stella mccartney

&

has a pilates studio

in her backyard in

the hamptons

and now she's

singing 

and i'm not talking about that country movie

she's singing on glee!

and i don't know what bothers me more --

that she's on my favorite new show

or that

i actually like it

oh and gwenny -

thanks for stealing my 

signature 

dance

 move.